Carl is back!

It probably seems to you like ages since I posted anything.  That's the problem with you humans, always thinking about things like time and what you do with it and where it goes.  I'm a crocodile and we can lie in wait for a very long time for a juicy piece of prey to come along.  We have to wait until the moment is right to pounce and drag our dinner-to-be into the depths, then we have to wedge it under a log or something and wait longer still for it to rot a little at the bottom of the river before we actually eat it (and you thought it waiting three minutes for your microwave meal was a long time...).

So you see for a crocodile time is just not worth marking.

Anyway, I'm back.  And with a new keeper.  Don't ask what happened to the last two.  It's a desperate tail that may take some time for me to get over.  Maybe I'll blog about it when it's not so fresh and painful (and I run out of interesting stuff to tell you).  However, this new keeper has promised to look after me properly - although I'm not entirely sure he realises what that will actually entail.  Poor, foolish human...

I have to say though he's made a promising start because the first thing he did was that he whisked me away on an exotic holiday.  OK, so it was an exotic holiday to Scotland, but trust me, when you've been stuck on an office partition for the last three years anywhere is exotic!

And I saw it all! Lochs, stock and barrel.  The lochs especially were really cool.  I'm a crocodile.  Lurking like a bored log in a river, lake, loch - whatever - that's my thing.  It's what I live to do.  So you can imagine my excitement when I saw how many lochs there are!

Me on holiday - see how chilled I am?
(source: my new keeper)

That's me by one in the picture. Look at all that lovely water.  It's a big loch.  Stretches as far as my crocodile eyes could see.  OK, it's a salt water loch and I'm a fresh water crocodile but it's been so long since I've seen water I don't care.  It's wet and wavy.  That's all that matters.  But see, I'm hiding in the grass.  Just like the old days.  I've not lost my touch.

Oh and I guess those mountains are cool too.  If you like that sort of land-based frippery.

But the point is I'm relaxing.  See how chilled I look there?  Yes, I know I'm cold-blooded and chilled is my natural state when the sun's not out, but there I'm intentionally chilling.  I'm content and stress-free.  I've not really been that relaxed before and it was quite a revelation.  And it didn't happen just the once either.

You can't see the cowardly birds hiding on the rock - but I can
(source: my new keeper again)

See, that's me beside the sea.  Yes, more salt water, I know.  My new keeper doesn't seem to understand yet that I'm a freshwater crocodile but I'm working on that.  He's new and has much to learn about crocodiles.  But can you see how relaxed I am there too?  It's mainly because I'm imaging eating one of those cowardly birds who spent the whole time hiding out on that rock, even so I'm a happy snapper there.

I've been told holidays are stressful, costly and leave you more tired needing time to recover.  Well not this one. This one was truly refreshing and invigorating.  I feel more energised and ready to face the world again.

And I want to go back to Scotland.  Yes, I very definitely want to go back, just as soon as I can convince my new keeper to take me back.  All those lovely lochs to explore!  Thousands of them!  Hopefully even some freshwater lochs this time.  How brilliant is that?  Apparently I've got a distant relation living up there too.  A very distant relation - Loch Ness is a long way away - and she is very old...

But that's for later.  Right now I'm back home and ready to face the world again!  Now where shall I go for my next holiday...?

Carl