Saturday, 4 June 2011

Carl wonders whether he is Swiss

I spose it's inevitable really, when you're about to be put on eBay as an "item"; when you are advertised as handcrafted, wood-carved or even charming.  It's inevitable that questions of Provenance arise.

Who am I?  Where did I come from?  I could look to the almighty Sobek (see May 31 post) for a pointer.  But just coz I'm a croc, doesn't mean I came from Egypt.  That's like saying that all potatoes come from Ireland or all dinosaurs come from Dorset.  Besides, Sobek is made-up.  That's a human thing.  And humans weren't around during the Eocene Epoch.  Unlike crocs.  That's when we hit the scene.

Course, when humans are searching for their identity, they don't normally go back to the Garden of Eden.  They usually go back to the first convenient and personally-appealing point in history they can find.  That's how come Barak Obama is Irish.  And all of the preceding 5 presidents.

I mean... spot the odd one out!*
CUCKOO CROC
(SOURCE: pigtown-design.blogspot.com)

So anyway, all this was running through my wooden, crocodilian mind earlier, when I was disturbed by my Keeper shouting, "You have got to be flipping joking!  You bunch of twerps!"  Or something like that.  He was watching England vs Switzerland.  It's a football match.  Turns out he doesn't like Switzerland much.  Coz when they were happy, it seem to make him annoyed.

Trouble is, I couldn't risk shouting for either side.  I couldn't.  Since, I don't know my Provenance, it is possible that I could actually be Swiss.  Well, as possible as anything.  Not all Swiss things are made out of chocolate or Nazi war gold.  That's a fallacy.  Some cuckoo clocks are handcrafted, wood-carved and even charming.

See my problem?

In the end it was a draw.  Just as well, really.

Take care,

Carl

* it's George W Bush, coz he's a twerp

No comments:

Post a Comment