Carl just doesn't get gnomes

What is it with gnomes?  Why would you want one in your garden?  Specially coz they're always after your fish, with their little rods and wotnot.

Thinking about getting a gnome?  Don't bother.  They're twerps.  What you want is a handcarved, woodcrafted, ethnic and charming crocodile.  We'll still pinch your fish, but at least we're edgy.

My Keeper has a gnome.  But coz he's also got a handcarved, woodcrafted, ethnic and charming crocodile, then he's on the right side of cool.  Just.  Come the end of the month, he's done for though.  Coz that's when the general public get a second chance to buy yours truly and my Keeper's croc-lessness magnifies the twerpness of his gnome-fullness.

Second chance to buy... I'm like a flipping olympic ticket, I am.


CROC-OLYMPIC WRESTLING EVENT
(Source: ebay.com)



And talking of olympics, here's a run down of events that might be found in the Croc Olympics:

1.   100 Metres Zigzag (see May 30 blog)

2.   3000 Metres Peoplechase (only kidding)

3.   Synchronised Deathroll (see May 29 blog)

4.   Croc Putt

5.   Wrestling (see right)

6.   The Alligator Toss (they're twerps, see June 5 blog)

I could go on, but they get progressively worse.  What do you expect?  I'm a croc and new to this making things up business.

So, anyway.  Bin your gnomes, flex your eBay muscles and sit poised at your keyboard for the forthcoming sale of the century.

Hasta la vista

Carl